In late April, seven weeks after the birth of my third child, life as I knew it was beginning to settle down. Daily life, routines and schedules were being reestablished and life was good. We were however a little crowded, as my mother had moved in with us back in October. Now with three little girls and my mother, my three bedroom house just didn’t seem big enough. “What if God should bless us again?” I thought. I began day-dreaming of a big house in the country with room for whomever or however many God brought our way. I was thankful for the blessings received but not truly content with the Lord’s provisions. I began earnestly searching for a way to earn more money, help my husband pay off our debts, and make all my dreams come true.

"Why do you spend money for what is not bread, and your wages for what does not satisfy? Listen carefully to Me, and eat what is good, and delight yourself in abundance." Isaiah 55:2

One of my dreams was to look better as I grew older. As a result of this vanity, I was constantly shaving, plucking or coloring any hair I deemed unacceptable. This practice can also result in unwanted ingrown hair which has to be dealt with too.

The day after Easter, I had discovered one of those unwanted ingrown hairs on my upper right thigh that was not easily removed. Thinking I could easily remedy the situation, I took a dermatologist needle to it. Within a few hours, the area of my upper thigh was inflamed, red and hot, and I grew increasingly tired. By the time my husband arrived home from work, the children had been bathed and fed and I was ready for bed. The sun was still up but all I wanted to do was sleep.

However, sleep did not come easily. The inflammation continued. My leg felt as though it was on fire and walking became increasingly difficult. I prayed that night would end and the doctor’s office would get me in quickly the next morning.

My mother was out of town. My husband stayed home on Tuesday and helped me to the doctor’s office while a neighbor sat with the children. The doctor drew blood for some tests and sent me home to rest with antibiotics. Unless things got worse, he would see me again on Friday. My husband took the rest of the week off and I was put to bed.

I remember waking up once and seeing my husband standing in the doorway with the baby. He looked so helpless holding my infant daughter in his hands. He’s so good with the older two, but when they are babies he feels very inadequate and I provide most of the care. My heart sank. Here I was lying in bed, unable to do my job, to meet the needs of my family. I kept telling my husband to call for help, but he wouldn’t and I didn’t understand why. He later told me that he would have called after a few days if things got really bad and he was overwhelmed, but he didn’t want to give anyone the impression that he couldn’t handle anything and ran for help at the first sign of trouble. I guess I can understand this (but apparently I’m not the only one here who struggles with pride-issues).

Thankfully God stepped in as one of our friends from church called. She said she didn’t know why but just felt like she needed to call Amy and see how everything was going. She was obviously surprised to find me stuck in bed and my husband in (almost) over his head. She rounded up some of our church friends and the offers started pouring in for childcare (which he, of course, refused) and home-cooked meals (which he, of course, accepted).

The infection continued and things progressively got worse. My doctor had told me that things would get worse before they got better, so we were patiently and painfully waiting for Friday to arrive. By Wednesday afternoon my fever was high, blood pressure was low, heart rate was erratic, and the antibiotics were not working as well as we had hoped. Again God stepped in. The doctor got my blood test results back and called me into his office immediately. My husband had taken the kids to Wal-mart so they could stock up on supplies and I could sleep in peace. I had him paged at Wal-mart (a source of amusement for us to this day) and had him come get me and take me to the doctor.

By Wednesday night I was in ICU and spent the next three days hospitalized on IV fluids and continuously varying antibiotics. I can’t remember much of what happened but found out later that because of the infection, my blood pressure and potassium levels were extremely low and I was probably only a few hours away from death. (Thank you, Lord.) I also found out that even after they stabilized me I was just a few more hours from probably losing my leg. (Thank you again, Lord.) Once the pieces all started to come together, I felt so ashamed. I nearly had a heart attack and I nearly lost the leg all because of my vanity, pride and misplaced priorities. I felt so guilty, so irresponsible! I nearly lost it all. Dear Lord, I am so sorry.

Charm is deceitful and beauty is vain but the woman who fears the Lord, she shall be praised. Proverbs 31:30

Life is very different for me now. Since coming home, recovery has been slow both physically and mentally, but spiritually …. what a revival. My family and my time here on this earth are very precious to me now. I'm trying to make the most of all of it and cherish it all. I believe, for once in a very long time, my priorities are where they are suppose to be …. at home with God and my family. That's where God wants me and it’s where I want to be. I'm content and at peace now. I hate it that it took all this to shake me up, shut me up and get me to stop and look at everything in a different way, but I'm very grateful God has allowed me to continue living my life, growing old with my husband, raising my daughters, and just enjoying life one moment at a time. No more long range planning, no more wishing for a bigger house, more children, etc. I am working at being content to just enjoy one day at a time, with whatever God brings my way. I am looking forward to growing old with my husband and watching our “roses”, our three precious girls, bloom wherever God plants them. This is my second chance, and I pray that I make the most of it.

"Not that I speak from want, for I have learned to be content in whatever circumstances I am. I know how to get along with humble means, and I also know how to live in prosperity; in any and every circumstance I have learned the secret of being filled and going hungry, both of having abundance and suffering need." Philippians 4:11-12

"Make sure that your character is free from the love of money, being content with what you have; for He Himself has said, 'I will never desert you, nor will I ever forsake you.'" Hebrews 13:5